circa 2010…
Finding myself at about the midpoint of my life is really cool. I was so happy to end my 20’s. I celebrated the end of my 30’s for totally different reasons. Moving into my fifth decade means that finally, finally people aren’t asking if I’ll be having kids. So I won’t have to explain that since I was 12 I knew I didn’t want them. To all of you who bet me, send the money. I know what I want. Or, I thought I did.
Turns out my 30’s were about chasing a big version of myself that looked really good on paper. But at the end of the day turned out to be a bunch of forcing, looking good, and justifying that I am OK. It was all to hide the fear that I was not good enough and not lovable. (I’ve learned that I am good enough, and I am lovable! I never knew that before.)
Well, I am moving on folks. I am releasing the need to have all the things I thought would make me happy. And I am just being happy. With help from some extraordinary teachers I am learning what really really matters. And dang it if in the process all the goodies I’ve been chasing all these years aren’t showing up. It’s really cool.
This is all new to me. The letting go part that is. So, you’re getting the new and improved, lighter and more enlightened version of Kristen. Thanks for coming along for the ride. I promise it’ll be fun.
