For the first time since leaving my home/studio in New Mexico in 2013, I painted today. It feels so-f’ing-good.
I started watching videos by Pamela Caughey Art a couple of days ago and in the process transformed from thinking about it (I started setting up new studio in the garage a couple of weeks ago), to taking action.
What made today the day?
Putting it on my schedule.
Yesterday at 1 pm, I hit the road and started getting supplies. Today, I promised myself I would finish a project by 2 pm, and start painting.
It felt like after holding my breath for over 6 years, I had permission to exhale.
So I did.
If I am being honest I’ve let the urgency of life get in the way for far too long.
In reflection, it was the right thing to do.
Since moving to Calfornia, life has been going fast. I walked into a set of conditions – while not my making – demanded that I roll up my sleeves and get to work. Literally.
It wasn’t all my choice. And yet it was. I picked it. I stayed. And I did what I thought were the best moves given the situation I found myself in.
Along the way, I lost myself a little.
And I found a whole new me.
Now, I find myself in this new chapter (married, living in the suburbs and co-raising kids), able to merge the old and the new.
That’s what today was about for me.
Going back, so I could go forward.
Frankly, I am surprised by this painting. While in its infancy, it’s really unlike anything I’ve done… other than one piece years ago that was painted over and left behind.
But there is something about the boldness of the piece that is speaking to me.
Maybe it’s a new voice finding its way out.
Strong. Bold. Unapologetic.
Or maybe it’s a sturdy foundation that something else will be built on.
Time will tell.
For now, I am sitting here, in my new garage/studio with paint under my nails, feeling grateful for the path behind.
And excited for the path ahead.